My Little Gnudren,

Old Gnu is discovering many wonderful and new delights almost midway through his 8^th decade on this planet. For starters, children tend to pat their parents on the head more in this era and say, “there, there…” if not physically, certainly metaphorically. This is very reassuring and touching even when you are so fortunate enough to be living an insanely trouble-free and happy life.

But alas! A trouble-free life can lead Old Gnu to spend his pocket-money like water and very irresponsibly.  Mrs. Gnu keeps a tight rein on his conscience from above, and keeps telling him, via a little voice in his head, that his enormous wealth compared to the rest of the world is not his to squander on himself alone. To counter this irritating little voice Old Gnu has resurrected the notion of “pocket-money”. How Gnu decides what proportion of his income is pocket-money is quite easy. The right proportion is set when he hits on a ratio that gets rid of that irritating little voice in his head.  The writers of the First Testament [Old Testament] were right certainly right about our need to care for the poor. And Jesus unfortunately confirmed that “the poor you have always with you”. And alas the world will never be a happy place until all have enough to live on and can provide adequately for their dependents. This is a bit bothersome to say the least to someone who wants to spend their pocket money. Anyway, back to Old Gnu’s insanity. One of his latest acquisitions with his pocket money is a Dennis the Menace T-shirt, comme ci:

Old Gnu made this purchase online. As usual the item arrived, but not as portrayed in the picture. It arrived without the charming girl in it. Nevertheless, Old Gnu did not return it.

He decided to sport his wonderful new acquisition in church on Sunday. As you know, Old Gnu is extremely deaf, so he sits in the front row in church so he can catch what’s going on. Even then some of what happens is beyond his comprehension. However he noticed an audible hush fell upon the gathered congregation as he walked into a fullish church sporting his new T-shirt, and plonked himself under the vicars nose. There could have been a number of reasons for this. For a start this was the first time Old Gnu walked into church in what appeared to be non-Charity Shop garb.

Anyway, as he sat at the front, – inaudibility of what was going on notwithstanding, – Old Gnu fell into an enlightening moment of mindfulness. He noted the white colourless garb of the officiating minister and how pleasantly his rather subtle red and black stripes complemented the lack lustre white [with black thrown in occasionally] clerical garb of the middle of the road Anglican Tradition.

The following week he went to a service at Clifton Roman Catholic Cathedral which old Gnu attends occasionally, because he has wonderful friends there. Alas, poor old Gnu’s new T-shirt looked drab compared to the colours on display at the front. And even Glam Rock Stars like Elton John would have a job on their hands compared to glorious colours on display there; with one notable exception. The clergy wore boringly normal horn-rimmed glasses. They obviously don’t use Elton John’s Optician. But perhaps this is where the Glam Rock movement got their inspiration. Granted their music is a bit different.

Old Gnu has often thought of getting a dog which, of course, he would have to call, Gnasher, to go with his T-shirt. But alas, since some of his family have recently moved several miles nearer the North Pole, he will often be hitting the road in his Ford Eco-Tortoise. A 504-mile journey would be too much for a Gnasher. But perhaps he could settle for a black spiky wig which would be indifferent to mileage of any amount.

[Dear reader, you may feel this Blog is becoming a bit like some of T.S.Eliot’s poetry – incomprehensible unless you know his personal background and have knowledge about the allusions he makes.]

What is the moral behind Old Gnu’s ramblings. Quite frankly, I don’t know. …..   Ah, yes! It’s just dawned on me!  It is never too late to try something new…. or something that doesn’t come from a charity shop. Eighty-year-old Charity Shoppers, there’s a whole wardrobe out there waiting for you to explore!

Vetus Pater Gnu
Musicorum et Theologia
Turris LA
XXVI Mensis Septembris MMXXV